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The Crying Weasel

I heard this story from a woman I met in Vancouver, Canada. A few years earlier, she had fallen in love with a handsome, charming man she met at a fund-raising event. He was a successful architect, and after dating for a year, they became engaged. He explained that as a wedding gift, he was building them a weekend cabin in the woods, and for the next few months, he would be gone on many Saturdays and Sundays, staying in a tent on the property while he constructed their love nest. She at first objected, saying she wanted to be with him, but he insisted that this was a wonderful romantic gesture he wanted to make by himself to start their lives together. “Our little cabin in the woods will be like a monument to our love,” he insisted.

One Saturday night, while he was off working at the cabin, she attended another fund-raising event by herself. She was seated next to an attractive woman about her age, and as they conversed, she was pleased to learn this woman was also engaged to be married. The conversation went something like this:

“So what does your fiancée do?” woman #1 inquired.

“He’s an architect,” said woman #2.

“Wow, what a coincidence, so is mine,” she replied enthusiastically.

“Maybe they know each other. Where does he work?” And after hearing the reply, she replied with growing unease, “Wow, what a coincidence, my fiancée works there, too.”

I am sure you have guessed the rest. The architect had been engaged to both women for a year. He told woman #2 that he was working on an out-of-town project and could only see her on the weekends, and of course, he used the “most likely fictional cabin love nest” excuse on woman #1.

After expressing their mutual outrage, the two women decided to do a little Weasel confrontation. Woman #1 informed my friend that Romeo Weasel was due to come to her house later that night. (For some reason, he had been unavailable to attend the dinner with her—perhaps there was fiancée #3?) The two women went back to her place to wait, and when he came through the door, they were both calmly sitting in the living room sipping wine.

According to my friend, Romeo Weasel turned white with shock, fell to the ground, pulled himself into a fetal position, and began wailing like a baby. He cried out ridiculous excuses about how he never felt loved and that was why he acted in such a shameful manner. “He actually did us both a favor by reacting that way,” she explained with a laugh, “because as we looked at him, I knew both of us were thinking ‘wow, how could we have ever been in love with that?’ although we did have to fight the temptation to kick him around the room a bit.” Needless to say, Romeo lost two fiancées that night.

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