In my book one of the Weasels I profile is The Grave Robbing Weasel, a particularly nasty fellow that literally stole the boots off a dead guy. I find Weasels that choose to torment the defenseless a particularly nasty breed of vermin, and there are few more vulnerable than the elderly, the dead, and their mourners. We need a special part of the prison for the folks that con old people out of their life savings, rob the homes of mourners while they are at funerals, and sell overpriced air tight coffins to poor people distraught over the death of a loved one.
According to an article I read in The Oregonian, Carolyn Franklin, co-owner of Woods Funeral Home in Oakridge, Oregon is alleged to possess some of these exceptional Weasel qualities. She was arrested last month and charged with five counts of first degree theft and forgery. Investigators claim that Franklin was filing funeral policy claims for people that had not died yet, and collected over $34,000 by forging signatures and billing for services that had not been rendered. The scheme was discovered when one of the elderly policy holders did pass away, and when the family tried to collect on the policy they were told the death benefit had been paid three years earlier. Since death is inevitable and someday all the policy holders will die, Franklin’s alleged antics seemed doomed from the beginning. But I guess a Weasel doesn’t have to be smart.