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The World’s Best Blow Job

Over the last 48 hours I have received two really incredible blow jobs, and both took place in public restrooms.

I know what you are thinking. He’s either gone into politics or has gotten together with George Michael to re-launch Wham. Nope.

Actually, since I spend a considerable amount of time whining about companies and products I don’t like, I feel obligated to occasionally praise really good products. And this week while traveling I had occasion in two airport restrooms to use the new Dyson hand dryer. You probably know Dyson from their really clever ads that have propelled them from “who’s Dyson?” into the vacuum industry’s biggest star, and now they are branching out into new ventures. Although I don’t own a Dyson vacuum, I must say their hand dryer is incredible!

I think all of us have experienced the disappointment of the old-style hand dryers; spending minutes wringing your hands in front of a noisy chrome blow hole that really didn’t dry your hands, but rather left them moist and clammy.

(A sidenote here….. Many years ago I was on a very important date with a very attractive woman I wanted to impress. While washing my hands I was horrified to discover I had leaned into the sink, and now had a huge water stain on my crotch that left the impression I needed to be wearing Depends – never a good image on a first date. Since there was nobody in the restroom, I kind of “mounted” the hand dryer in an attempt to blow dry the water stain out of my pants. This shocked the man that walked into the restroom, who probably assumed I did not have a date and had instead chosen to violate the chrome blow hole. And while the old style hand dryers might not dry your hands, they will help eliminate water stains from linen pants, something I don’t think you could do with the Dyson. But back to my point….)

Anyway, the Dyson hand dryer is a miracle of practical design. You insert your hands into it, and high pressure cleansed air blows them dry in seconds. It works. It makes sense. It’s hygienic. It’s reasonably quiet. It looks kind of cool. I love it. It’s as if Apple designed a hand dryer – except theirs would play music too.

In fact, I want one for my house, but I suspect my wife will not find it quite appropriate for the décor. (I also want a urinal, but that was nixed too.)

In any case, next time you see a Dyson hand dryer I suggest you get a blow job. Wait a minute, you didn’t think this blog entry was about something else, did you?