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The Adventures of Carlos Danger!

I was so pleased a few weeks ago when one of my favorite politicians of all time, Anthony Weiner, threw his hat back in the political ring – but that palled in comparison to the excitement I felt this morning when I learned of Weiner’s online sexual alter-ego, Carlos Danger. In case you have been in a coma for the last 24 hours, New York’s favorite Weiner-sexting politico is at it again – sending dirty texts and crotch shots to young girls – but this time using the magnificent moniker “Carlos Danger”, a name you would normally only encounter in children’s action books, a Johnny Depp film,  or in porno movies. Finally America has a politician worthy to compete with Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi!

I have always assumed that it was pure luck that Weiner was graced with a name that ultimately came to define him and his favorite appendage. Imagine a chess master being born with the name “Check Mate” – or if instead of being born Al Pacino, one of America’s favorite actors had been named “Master Thespian”. I personally would have enjoyed the name Timothy Trout.

But Weiner isn’t satisfied to rest on the laurels of his dickish name and corresponding bad behavior – he understands the need to move his brand forward – hence he has become the magnificent “Carlos Danger”, the fearless, creepy online seeker of nubile young women, ready at the click of an iPhone to send photos of his throbbing appendage and freakish 6 pack into the world wide web for all to admire.

OK –   lets be fair, sexting is not all that uncommon. According to USA Today, around 15% of cell phone owners report they have received a lewd message (of course most of those probably came from Carlos Danger).

Given how common it is – I decided to try it myself to spice up my marriage a bit – sending a revealing “below-the-belt” text to my wife from the fictitious account of “Oswaldo Bulger”.  Unfortunately I hit the wrong address key, and inadvertently sent the message to my accountant, who thought it was an ad for a low-end liposuction clinic.

At this point Weiner is shrugging off suggestions that he abandon his political aspirations.  He doesn’t seem to think there is a problem with his actions, which is exactly the kind of position I would expect “Carlos Danger” to take.  Guys like Carlos Danger can’t live by conventional rules – and mere mortals like us can possibly understand them.  Luckily we also don’t need to vote for them.

In any case, I would guess this is probably the end of Anthony’s political career.  But Carlos Danger…..I think we will be hearing a lot from him.  He might be the world’s most interesting man – at least for this week.

 

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